TALES of FRED TATT - Ref: 515
“Fred Tatt said ” This phrase is often heard in Warboys and the surrounding district, and Fred Tatt is as legendary a figure as David Crockett. We know very
little about Fred Tatt, but his sayings and tales have been told for years.
Fred Tatt looked at his watch. It had stopped and all the shaking in the world could not make it go. Fred took the back off and found in the works a dead insect.
“No wonder it wouldn’t go,” he said, “the engine driver’s dead.”
Fred Tatt’s father told him to go to blazes, so he went and joined the fire brigade !
Some of Fred’s mates were carrying a hen house and were finding it difficult. They shouted: “Fred, where are you?” Fred said, “I’m in here, carrying the perches.”
Fred Tatt went back to harvest cart one night. It began to pour with rain. His master told him that he could stay all night. Half an hour later the master heard the front door bang. He went to see who it was and there stood Fred soaking wet. “I’ve been home to fetch my pyjamas,” he said.
Fred’s boss told him to go and count the pigs. “There should be 102” he said. Fred came back very worried. He said: “I can only count one hundred and one. I can’t count the little black one ‘cos he keeps running about.”
Fred and his pal were going to work. Fred said, “You go that way and I’ll go this way. If you get there first, you put a stone on the wall and if I get there before you I’ll knock it off.”
Fred’s pal cut his finger while chopping fire wood. Fred said: “It’s a good job you hadn’t got hold with both hands or you might have chopped your finger right off.”
Fred’s pal was on the roof putting some slates on. Fred said: “Don’t come down the ladder ‘cos I’ve taken it away.”
Fred was packing up ready to go home. ‘Where’s my waistcoat?” he said. ‘You’ve got it on” was the reply. “It’s a good job you told me” said Fred. “I might have gone home without it.”
Fred said that the first time he went up a ladder was down a well. Fred’s master told him to go and count the flock of sheep. Fred got back very quickly. “How did you do it so fast?” asked the master. “It’s easy” said red, “I just count the legs and then divide by four !”
Fred’s pal was screwing a top window sill. ‘Have you got hold of the screw-driver? asked Fred. “Yes,” replied his mate, “Why?” “That’s just as well,” replied Fred, “I’m just going to take the steps away!”
They both went on a tandem. Going uphill Fred’s pal in front found it hard going. Are you pedalling?” he asked. ‘No,” said Fred, “but I’ve got the back brake on to stop us running down hill.”
COLIN-UPCHURCH.
Have any more of our readers got any stories of Fred Tatt? If so, we will rint them in our next issue.